I recently watched this film – “Room” on Amazon. It wasn’t an easy film to watch. It is cruel to discuss the plot here, but I shall be as brief as I can. Room is about the 24-year-old Ma, played by Brie Larson, and her 5-year-old son Jack, played by Jacob Tremblay. When Ma was 17, she was kidnapped and brought to “The Room” by a man known only as Old Nick. He brings weekly sustenance and rapes her every now and then. Those are the only two situations where he appears to them, or us through the film. To try and make whatever sense she can of their harrowing situation and provide for Jack a ‘normal’ childhood, Ma creates a world of imagination.
While we are beginning to get used to the anxiety and uncertainty of these times, the term Resilience has become very prominent in now. Is resilience a skill to be developed or is it a technique? Is it a certain set of attributes or is it an attitude or a way of life? Maybe it is all of this maybe it is more. While I am placing some simpler methods of looking at what makes you more resilient here , these are more of – what one could “do” rather than who one could “be” while doing the stuff that is being proposed below. In our webinar on the 23rd we talk about the core of resilience and help you explore and build it.
Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress —. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.
While these adverse events, much like rough times, are certainly painful and difficult, they don’t have to determine the outcome of our lives. There are many aspects of your life you can control, modify and grow with. And there comes the role of resilience. Your resilience not only helps you get through difficult circumstances, it also empowers you to grow and even improve your life along the way.
Resilience isn’t necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. On the contrary, resilience involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that one can learn and develop. The ability to learn resilience is one reason research has shown that resilience does not extraordinariness.
Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality. Focusing on four core components — Relationships, Care, Healthy Self talk and Meaning — can empower you to withstand and learn from difficult and traumatic experiences. To increase your capacity for resilience to weather — and grow from — the difficulties, use these strategies.
Prioritize relationships – Connecting with empathetic and understanding people can remind you that you’re not alone in the midst of difficulties. Focus on finding trustworthy and compassionate individuals who validate your feelings, which will support the skill of resilience. Unfortunately, the pain of traumatic events can lead some people to isolate themselves, but it is indeed important to accept help and support from those who care about you.
Not only the one-on-one relationships, some find that being active on social media, some civic groups, interest or faith-based communities, or other local organizations provides can help you reclaim hope.
Care and Mindfulness- Well, stress is just as much physical as it is emotional. Promoting positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration and regular exercise can strengthen your body to adapt to stress and reduce the toll of emotions like anxiety or depression. Self-care is not only just a buzzword; it’s also a legitimate practice for mental health and building resilience. Mindful journaling, yoga, and other spiritual practices like prayer or meditation can also help people build connections and restore hope, which can prime them to deal with situations that require resilience. When you journal, meditate, or pray, ruminate on positive aspects of your life and recall the things you’re grateful for, even during personal trials.
Meaning and Purpose – It’s helpful to acknowledge and accept your emotions during hard times, but it’s also important to help you foster self-discovery by asking yourself, “What can I do about a problem in my life?” If the problems seem too big to tackle, break them down into manageable pieces. Instead of delving the shame of losing your job, could you spend an hour each day developing your top strengths or working on your resume. Taking initiative will remind you that you can muster motivation and purpose even during stressful periods of your life, increasing the likelihood that you’ll rise up during painful times again. Whether you volunteer with a local homeless shelter or simply support a friend in their own time of need, you can garner a sense of purpose, foster self-worth, connect with other people and tangibly help others, all of which can empower you to grow in resilience.
Develop some realistic crisis goals and do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward the things you want to accomplish. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
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Healthy Self Talk – How you think can play a significant part in how you feel — and how resilient you are when faced with obstacles. Try to identify areas of irrational thinking, such as a tendency to catastrophize difficulties or assume the world is out to get you and adopt a more balanced and realistic thinking pattern. For instance, if you feel overwhelmed by a challenge, your ability to remind yourself that what happened to you isn’t an indicator of how your future will be, and that you’re not helpless is healthy self talk. You may not be able to change a highly stressful event, but you can change how you interpret and respond to it.
Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Along the way, note any subtle ways in which you start to feel better as you deal with difficult situations.
People often find that they have grown in some respect as a result of a struggle. For example, after a tragedy or hardship, people have reported better relationships and a greater sense of strength, even while feeling vulnerable. That can increase their sense of self-worth and heighten their appreciation for life
